Your Life Sparkles

It's harder to find gratitude in my 2020.

This year has been a series of difficult events. Heartbreaking times. Trials in our human world. Trials in my personal world. Losing my 43 year old husband on July 16 was a shock that I was not prepared for. Sometimes I want to put my head under the pillow and hide away. 

But then I see glimmers of hope. Pieces of the world that are working together. Compassionate moments, random acts of kindness, love against the odds. And I remember that I am not alone. I remember that is what I want to stand for. I want to be that voice: love, peace, kindness. 

At the moment, I'm quieter than usual for me. I'm not on a stage or soapbox. I'm not speaking the words I believe in my heart to be true- love yourself! Be kind to yourself! Be kind to others. We are in this together. Because in some ways, we are not in this together. Not everyone lost their husband on July 16. But there are so many moments that are exclusive for you, or him, or her, or any other person... we have a shared journey, but woven in... are our individual experiences and lives, too. Everyone has their own 2020 to grapple with, to navigate and to decide, what's next for me? 

So, looking for gratitude feels harder. But to me, that means it is even more important. The mental battle I face is a struggle. Finding peace, finding love, finding myself in the midst of my own 2020 chaos. When I see others champion love and gratitude, it reminds me how much that shared message means. It reminds me that even quiet voices matter, including my own wounded one. 

I am grateful for the love that surrounds me, the life I am given, the freedoms I have. I am grateful for my home, garden, friends, family, and my cat, Mrs. Mia. I am grateful for so many things- both big and small and it's up to me to keep circling back to these hopes. These lights in my life. These things I am grateful for.

I hope and pray for so much good to come to our world in these times. My heart lifts when I see and feel others who find gratitude, strength and love and share it with one another. Keep it up.