Your Life Sparkles

Some of you have already made the decision to do a small elopement. I've felt the mix of emotions then, too. It wasn't an easy decision to make and it was filled with so much...emotion.

The joy for the marriage! The grins between brides and grooms. The sadness for missing best friends, bridal parties and more. The worry for those not with you. The smiles for your love. It's such a crazy mix, it's emotional, it's okay for you to feel all over the map.

Those were not easy decisions. But remember, your ceremony was so special. It WAS wrapped in love. And, it's okay for you to celebrate as newlyweds! In our 'new normal' we are allowed to feel happy, we are allowed to feel joy.

And, of course, we are allowed to still feel sad, regret, anger. There is no limit to the feelings we have around the way the virus has changed everything right now. Be kind to yourselves, you deserve to look back on your day with love and happiness.

My Final Thoughts:

Be there for one another. It's okay to feel whatever you are feeling- there is no road map for this. Just know that you are not alone, you have each other, and I am here too. You can email me any time at yourlifesparkles@gmail.com 

Hugs from Kris 

What a crazy time. I know you all feel it. You're watching your date, your changing your plans, your worried about parents, guests, venues. It's ok to feel sad. It's ok to feel more than sad. When milestones- like a wedding- get changed, cancelled or altered, there's a certain grief that sets in.

That's ok. You are not alone, it hurts and it's not how you wanted the lead up to your wedding day to go. I know. I get it. It's not how I wanted it, either.

It's important to keep your eye on what matters. Your love for one another. The community of love that surrounds you. Everyone understands. And we will get through this. It may not be how you wanted it to look, and that's hard. Weddings take so much to plan, dream and create. It's big.

But when the dust settles, and we can safely celebrate, it will happen. Changes will happen- different date, different venue, some guests who won't be able to make it now. But the day will come, and you will handle it all with love- and you will be there to hold each other up along the way.

 1. You Own Your Happiness 

Only you can do that! Your partner can enhance the happiness that you nurture in yourself, but it is not their job to make you happy. If you rely on them for happiness it becomes a burden. Make sure you take the responsibility yourself. It starts with adopting a mindset that happiness is a choice, meaning you give yourself the power to create happiness for yourself. The only person you can change is you. Let gratitude enter your heart and mind and choose happiness now.

2. Independence is important 

Keep your own activities and your own friends. Spend a healthy time apart doing your own thing. It’s unhealthy to let your relationship absorb your identity - you both matter as individuals and a little space is great. 

3. See what Others See in You 

When you describe a best friend, how easy is it to go on and on about how wonderful they are? Or talking about how amazing your partner is. Imagine if you could do that for yourself! That is key. Hold on to compliments, believe the beautiful things others say about you. You mean the world to your people in your circle. Embrace it, and believe it. 

4. Allow Yourself to Be Human.

We all have our flaws. Some things can be ignored; others might be something you want to work on. Either way, don’t let it get you down or get in the way of self-love. Recognising flaws is a natural part of a relationship; it doesn’t mean you are a terrible person or that you are unlovable, it just means that you are human.

5.Love is an Action 

Decide to act in a self-loving way. Make time to nurture yourself and fulfill your own needs. Make sure you are getting time for you everyday. This can be simple activites, like morning meditation, going the yoga, reading or enjoying a cup of coffee. Be mindful about it- if you let these moments or activities slip away without recognising 'this is for me and I am important', then the benefits will add up. 

hugs from Kris

Keeping romance alive can be simple and fun! When I talk with couples about their romance slipping away, I like to review some of the simple things that can bring it back.

1. Take turns planning dates. This way one partner isn’t doing all the planning and organizing. It's nice to have someone take care of all the decisions and details! 

2. Show your appreciation every day. Ask yourself: 'What can I do to celebrate my partner today?' Those little words, compliments, kindness- they can go a long way. Smile when you see your partner! Every day, share your beautiful smile with them. 

3. Surprise your partner. Small surprises can impact your day- this can be a note in a lunch, a video text or sweet voice message. Something small, but that you don't often do. It shows that you care and it will make your partner smile. 

4. Plan a 'Just Us' time. Choose a night of the week, and commit to it. Even if it's a night in, spend it together on the couch- talk about why you love each other and celebrate the relationship you have. Remember what sparked your love! Talk about your memories and good times. 

5. Mix things up. Routines are par for the course in a long-term relationship. Try a new restaurant, take a class together, do an activity you haven't tried before. Check out 'Things to Do' in your local area and just go for it! Even if something is not as you expected, it could end up be a fond memory and that's what life is built on. 

6. 60 second hugs! I love these so much. Just silently hug for 60 seconds, and notice how good it feels. Your bodies connect and you feel that love and safety in your connection. As the hug goes on, you allow yourself to 'just breath' BUT doing this with your partner can be so effective. And it only takes ONE MINUTE. 

Hugs from Kris 

1. Never lie to each other. Lies break trust and trust is the foundation of a strong marriage.

2. When you've made a mistake, admit it and humbly seek forgiveness. You should be quick to say, "I was wrong. I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

3. Be patient with each other. Your spouse is always more important than your schedule.

Hugs from Kris 

1. Give your best to each other, not your leftovers after you've given your best to everyone else.

2. Don't put your marriage on hold while you're raising your kids or else you'll end up with an empty nest and an empty marriage.

3. Never keep secrets from each other. Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy.

Hugs from Kris 

1. Choose to love each other, even in those moments when you struggle to like each other. Love is a commitment, not a feeling.

2. Always answer the phone when your husband/wife is calling. When possible, try to keep your phone off when you're together with your spouse.

3. Make time together a priority. Budget for a consistent date night. Time is the "currency of relationships," so consistently invest time into your marriage.

hugs from Kris