Eight Ways to Best Navigate Change and Develop Emotional Resilience During these Uncertain Times
|Posted on March 22, 2020 at 4:05 PM||comments (169)|
By Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino, Beth Caldwell & Kris Fuller
Navigating the unknown isn’t new. Generally speaking, we’re all constantly navigating the unknown as people, whether it is a new job or class we take, new baby we bring home and more. We’re constantly maneuvering through change.
Just last month, Elizabeth and her husband were in California toodling around wine country and then were in North Carolina for college baseball. Suddenly, the next week they were seeing the news heat up, getting kids from closed colleges, changing work meetings, conferences and schedules and more.
In other cases, Kris Fuller just received news that her husband Ben has stage 4 colon cancer.
2019 was a very tough year for Beth Caldwell and her family. Her infant nephew died tragically on July 1st due to a physician's mistake. The family experienced five additional deaths over the next 4 months, stretching their resiliency to the absolute limits.
So, the Coronavirus has added another layer of even more unexpected stress.
Emotions, and in particular, anxiety and stress levels, are through the roof right now as we navigate through 2020 and the novel Coronavirus. So very often change we take on is like a personal quest, such as getting in better shape or changing jobs, however, current events are having us react and respond both individually and collectively in new and different ways.
During these times of change, what are you percolating into the world?
Here are eight tips we have for developing emotional resilience to help navigate stressful situations:
Practice pausing. In this case, we may need to pause for humanity. Life has issued a pause for many of us and it is important to perhaps build your energy as you may find yourself needing it. A pause means you allow yourself to take a break, take moments and recharge. Remember, a pause may be big or small.
Understand your leadership style - You may be in a situation where your job is to calm others who may not be so calm. How stressed and tested you are will come out in a variety of ways, so it is important to be mindful in these situations. As Beth Caldwell reminds us in her book, Women, LEAD!, the way we handle a crisis is by those around us. Most people have never faced a threat this extensive. They feel uncertain and afraid. Recognize that they need compassion and empathy as much as direction. It's critically important right now that you stay grounded and use your leadership skills to rally others toward a sense of combined purpose rather than furthering the isolation they are already experiencing.
Understand how changes are made - Generally, we are in the driver's seat with change. It's a healthier style of life or job change and we choose it. In many cases, though change is not something we've chosen. Many people currently already have an issue playing in the background, such as an underlying condition or financial crisis already brewing. Add in this virus and now suddenly multiple issues are playing out. The virus may have even caused a change you didn't want, such as a job loss for example. We process through the 9 steps of change written in Percolate - Let Your Best Self Filter Through regularly. In this case, with Point 1- Awareness – We’re probably all plenty aware of the virus, however most of us will process fluidly though points 1-9 of how we make change and changing the order of the steps and revisiting them. How we all process change right now matters in the way we behave, for example through these seven other points listen in this blog. Whatever changes you are faced with it can be important to find your footing in gratitude, compassion and collaboration.
Connect and Collaborate. Our usual lives are very disrupted right now. Many of the things we once did have changed. It is possible to have that sense of community and collaboration in other ways. Time to get creative. From virtual classrooms to more virtual meetings and more, there are so many great creative and helpful examples on social media platforms, ideas to support one another, to share truths and share joy as well. We write this next line with the understanding that things might not be very funny where you are. If you are a person who uses humor to cope: Even memes are finding their way in this environment. We use shared humor to make it through.
Rest, Relax and Routine. It's important to establish a routine of some kind, especially if you have children. I know, for example, our college kids are completely thrown off their routine. As are working parents, children in preschools - high school and beyond. We all must find a new normal right now and are called upon and calling upon each other to adjust with your routine to include rest, relaxation and routine. Please remember to be kind to yourself and practice self-care. Tired parents cannot teach tired kids, so it's ok if you just love them through it. Allow movies, forts and naps to be ok. Allow yourself to be lower in productivity, if needed.... remember... YOU are important too. Take care of you.
Reframe the situation with gratitude. This is a tough one, especially as we see so many things changing all at once, we’re all doing our best to process extreme changes that include even business closures, illness, and worse. It is possible to have the worst of circumstances and seek out positive energy to change your approach to situations. You might need to practice this line of thinking as it may not come naturally. To start we strongly recommend journaling or blogging.
Here is a journal exercise: How can we be grateful in these moments? Please think about this question for yourself and consider starting a specific gratitude journal for these moments or expand on what you have written already.
Be Patient With Yourself and Others. People's response in crisis varies from person to person and moment to moment. Please be patient with yourself and others. We're all in new territory together and please practice kindness, compassion, and understanding in our moments. Especially if you are confined to your home with others. Temper disturbances.
Practice self-care. This is a moment where it is important to be as healthy as you can be, in case you fall ill especially. If you are not in your best physical or emotional health, it might be a moment where you consider using the pause created by this situation to implement better self-care. Physical and emotional well-being are carefully intertwined, so both could be addressed. We see great videos of people exercising in their homes, taking walks and reminding us all to eat as best we can in these moments. The same holds for your emotional well-being. You might even be feeling creative. is it a dance party in the living room with the cat? A bake off with the kids? Put a challenge out to others in your world.
Elizabeth Hamilton Guarino is one of America's most trusted mindset, leadership, and personal & corporate development consultants. As the Founder and CEO of Best Ever You and Compliance4, Elizabeth has helped thousands around the globe be their best and achieve world-class excellence. Elizabeth is the author of PERCOLATE - Let Your Best Self Filter Through and contributor to A Lesson for every Child: Learning About Food Allergies
Beth Caldwell is the author of more than ten books on leadership, inspiration, and personal development. She believes that women CAN do it all, just not at the same time. She is the founder and creator of the SHIFT Program and Leadership Academy for Women. She is the former host of the popular WebTV Show Smart Leadership and currently hosts a motivational weekly broadcast called Monday Morning Mastermind.
Kris Fuller is keynote speaker, business coach, and event planner, Kris is known for her mindset philosophies and meticulous planning. Kris is an author with Waldorf Publishing and the CEO of Your Life Sparkles. Kris is a graduate of the University of Alberta (Bachelor of Education), University of Sedona (Bachelor of Metaphysics) and certification from the Palouse Center for Mindfulness. She also holds a Performance Diploma from Red Deer College and Gifted Mind Series from Oxford Brookes University in the UK.
I Have Time.. How to Keep Going
|Posted on January 16, 2020 at 4:20 PM||comments (42)|
FOCUS ON YOU! SELF CARE!
What does this mean?
One aspect in my life I am improving is my health, fitness and nutrition. (My financial self care side is a work in progress to!) It’s not easy!
I started a home workout routine with the help of a friend @Tashagagne
Day 1: I was excited to start.
Day 2: still roaring to go.
Day 3: What is happening to me. I’m sore, I’m sooo sore.
Day 4: I want to curl up and suck my thumb and put blankets over my head. But I also don’t want to have to say to to myself and my friend - uhh I didn’t do it.... so here I am. Phone timer on checking every minute. Screaming occasionally “I can do this”.
The power to be great is in us. It’s in YOU! I believe in you so tell yourself today that you believe in yourself!
There are barriers that stop us. Fear, time, money etc.
So how do we move past these barriers to reach the YOU, you want to be?
Use your supports, people you you call friends and family, take moments to be mindful of your surroundings and happenings. Find out what is important to you and your self care.
Make a plan.
Make it simple (10 minute walk, 10 minute tea/coffee, 2 minutes of deep breathing— it all counts)
Take your first step and put your plan into action. Do what you set out to do.
And “IF” along the path you miss a step THATS OK! It’s not a failure because GUESS WHAT? The power is in you to start again. You never fail if you continue to get back up!
What got me to start my fitness self care? Believe it or not it was my new 2020 Sticky note Mantra:
I HAVE TIME!!!
Often I stress myself out saying “ I don’t have time....!” So now my mantra is assisting my mindset. I HAVE TIME!!
At YOUR LIFE SPARKLES we constantly say “train your brain”. It believes what you tell it.
So love yourself. Care for yourself! Make a plan.
#yourlifesparkles #selfcare #mantra
Hugs from Lisa
Pre-cut Veggies Each week
|Posted on January 8, 2020 at 3:20 PM||comments (1)|
I try to start each week with fresh cut up veggies for easy access.
If your like me, the UNCUT veggies rarely get touched.
Weekly food prep is an awesome way for me to help my family choose healthy snacks throughout the week, myself included!
If I don’t have ready cut up veggies ready to eat, the cookie jar is my go to or toast! Because it’s so easy and yummy.
My mouth and brain love to eat the cookies and chocolates BUT when I do right by my body AND choose healthy, my body and brain THRIVE!!
I always feel so good when I eat well! I just wish it was easy!
Hugs from Lisa
Mad, Sad or Glad
|Posted on January 5, 2020 at 5:15 PM||comments (49)|
Grumpy. Eyes rolled. No smile.
THIS was my face when Ben suggested we take our daily walk today. I was not in the mood. Just a bit tired, grumpy and to be honest, feeling overwhelmed today.
Hubs: Wanna walk now?
Me: No. (insert face)...Definitely no.
Hubs: *says nothing*
Hubs: *says nothing*
Me: *fine* but let's go RIGHT now... (insert dramatic sigh).
So we went. He tried to chat with me but I was not having it. I even grumbled, 'I just want to walk in quiet'. That's right.
Quiet so I can mutter in my mind 'stupid walk. stupid husband. stupid snow.'
I want to tell you that the walk 'fixed it all'. It did not.
BUT a small glimmer of a smile is now with me (an hour later)...a small goal was achieved. And even though I did NOT want to.. I did it.
I'm reminded of my mom's phrase... when there was a job to do that we had to do she would say, 'Well it has to get done. You choose if you want to do it Mad, Sad or Glad'.
So, I did my walk. With Mad. Maybe a hint of Sad (definitely ZERO Glad). So, if you have a task to do that must be done... push through. You can do it.
Resolutions are Not My Jam
|Posted on January 2, 2020 at 2:45 PM||comments (344)|
It's Jan 2nd...
Where do you stand on New Years resolutions? If they work for you, great.�� It's a wonderful time to reset and renew.
For me, I have never really gotten on board with resolutions. I prefer to be continuous in my health and life journey.
In October, my husband I set the intention to walk daily together. With this, we are carving out time together, enjoying fresh air and creating a lifelong habit together. Are we perfect at it? No. Sometimes we only get 5/7 (once we only did 1/7!) BUT each week is a new week and we strive to be better. And it's never going to hurt us! One of my favourite things about the walk is the high-five at the end and I say 'good job, honey' (and he says it right back to me). It's such a silly, simply joy... but it makes me want that moment AGAIN!
When I have set resolutions in the past, they tend to fizzle out and then I beat myself up for *not* succeeding. What I have learned about THIS is that I never get better at something by telling myself how BAD I am.
I need a plan that is achievable and works for me. Jan 1 is just another day- yes, it marks the New Year, it has a feeling of 'fresh slate' and all that jazz, but for my life and health choices, just another day.
Do resolutions work for you? Do you use them for a jumpstart or all year? Do you do something else?
Whatever you do, as long as it works for you, that is great. Be kind to yourself. Go outside, get fresh air and give yourself a high-five. Hugs from Kris
Is a 6 minute walk worth it?
|Posted on January 2, 2020 at 2:05 PM||comments (49)|
I woke up late. I have bed head. I'm really tired.
It's one of those days where I want to go back to bed, get under the covers and just be sleepy cosy all day.
ONE of the problems with this is that staying in bed too long physically hurts my body. It's better if I get up!
I think about a friend of mine who specialises in Kinesiology (body movement!) and her passion for us to all just keep moving. It matters NOW so we can move when we are 60,70,80!
I believe it. Just keep going.
So even though I am tired today, I will get moving. It's my commitmment to myself. (note: my walk today was only 6 minutes. It was all I could do.) Remember this: every step counts. If 6 minutes is all you can do today, that's ok. Be proud and reset tomorrow.
6 minutes didn't make me happy. Didn't make me feel joy. BUT it was all I could do today. So I flip that on it's head... and now I think:
6 minutes is better than 0.
I got outside today.
I'm doing my best.
Wow, that sounds a lot better than 'bad job for only 6 minutes'. And when I give myself a pat on the back for 6 minutes, it really lifts me up. Nobody ever got better at something with someone telling them how bad they are! Celebrate all small wins.
Hugs from Kris
Daily Walk... not perfect but trying!
|Posted on December 30, 2019 at 3:10 PM||comments (170)|
Waking with my husband. Daily physical activity is good for the body, mind and soul.
Every little step counts. Our walk is a 20 minute loop around a couple blocks and riverfront. It's beautiful and worth it. Am I always in the mood for it? No. I'm busy. I'm tired. I have other things to do. It's gray outside. Really, now? And sometimes he feels that way too. So, we have committed to each other to walk together. We are working on saying 'yes' when the other one asks so that we do it.
Today he was the instigator and I was the grump. I put my boots on with a sigh. We started walking quietly (honestly, that might even be his preference, but I'm quite a chatty gal...so unusual for me). We passed a d.o.g. and my eyes lit up. That was all it took. Now I'm having the time of my life on the trail. I looped my arm in Ben's and said 'good job, honey'. He replied, 'No, YOU, good job honey.'
Are we perfect at it? No. There are still days we miss. Days where neither of us wants to be the walk-cheerleader. But that's ok. We don't need to be perfect at it...we just need to keep at it.
It's something that we wanted to start now... So it becomes a life long habit. Is a 20 minute walk going to complete my health and fitness routine or goals? It certainly will only add to it. And when we are 82, we will be grateful for our years of walking together. I just know it.
#healthylifestyle #healthyme #husband #walking #outside Be kind to yourself. You are wonderful and sweet. #inspire #empower #focus2020 #yourlifesparkles #youarebeautiful #yougotthis #journey #goals #warrior #strong #enough #determination #3sisters
Hugs from Kris
Snacking- Set an END time
|Posted on December 30, 2019 at 3:00 PM||comments (50)|
I love snacking. Chips, popcorn, pretzels. One of the worst things for you is snacking during TV time... it becomes mindless and you don't listen to your body say 'I'm full'.... you listen to your tongue say 'this is DELICIOUS... gimme 17 more...' (or at least that is how it works for me!)
My deadline for snacking is 8pm. After that, I am allowed to have herbal tea. For me, it's tasty and comforting. It has been an adjustment (and, oh, I'm not perfect at it...sometimes that popcorn calls me TOO loudly...which also pairs with me working on a better bedtime ritual... yes, yes, that's right.. I have a set bedtime...kids are crying that it's 'time for bed' and I'm over here like 'why doesn't somebody put me to bed?' ) ...but it's a goal that I have set... to continue healthy things.
If you are looking for a little something to do with regards to snacking or foods. Try this. A lot of my ideas for success are these little, simple steps.
AND remember.. you don't have to be perfect at it! Give yourself a break sometimes too. Just work towards being more mindful of it. That's my 2 cents...and 12 chips today. Hugs from Kris
Small Steps Every Day
|Posted on December 29, 2019 at 5:55 PM||comments (99)|
Small steps every day. When I think about my daily physical activity.. I think 'I got this... for sure. Daily activity- something that sounds so easy.. but for me, can be challenging.... because I'm incredibly busy (of course)... but WHAT is so important that I can't get off my butt and just talk the walk?!?!
I have a friend who specialises in seniors fitness (gerontology kinesiology) and she has shared over and over... if you don't do activity when you're 40.. then you can't move well when you're 60, you struggle in your 70s and by the time you're 80 you can't dress and shower yourself. So keep active NOW. (On a personal note, I really DO want to dress and shower myself at 80.. for sure...)
I have made go-for-a-walk checklists (partially effective), I have berated myself (zero effective and THEN I feel bad), I have made the walk distance 'shorter' (small win when I do it!), found a friend (sorry for grumbling!), tried putting my cat in my apron pocket (in related news, cats are NOT good walk companions.. just leave it be)... and still sometimes it is a struggle to start... .
So, I regroup and think 'small steps'...and the FIRST one is the hardest...
I have a 2.1km loop right by my house- it's beautiful, along a river and certainly not too difficult...and I DO have 27 minutes and 43 seconds (my husband timed me) to spare....
My goal is to do that walk daily. Great news.. today is a winner! What are you doing to keep moving? Keep healthy? Keep yourself #1?